Well it all started on a bright day in 1992. I was playing softball at a park in Burlingame, Ca. I noticed a big group meeting over on the other side of the park. I went over to see what they were doing, and what I heard sounded pretty good. And that is the start of my nightmare.
After the sermon was over, three women came over to me and asked if I liked what I had heard. I said yes. They then asked if I would like to stay for the picnic and the softball game they were going to have elsewhere. The ladies names were Sharon East, Desiree Leslie and Cassandra Grady -- they would end up being my Bible Study leaders. I do not remember much about Cassandra Grady, but I am sure that will come back too. Sharon seemed to be the leader, and the other two below her.
I was staying at a Veterans Administration Shelter because of my mom. I was having a hard time being away from home and wanting to make friends at the same time. Well they used my love of softball to get me. The invitations to go to church came every day and to make things worse I had to go to a Bible study too. I agreed because I wanted to be a part of something and I liked being able to play softball too.
The Bible studies started off easy and then got hard. I remember being told I must confess my sins to my discipler. Sharon seemed to not like me, but the other two were nice. Well I don't remember much else of the Bible study (sorry). There was a time on the way to a school in San Francisco, to play a softball game when I was told I need to learn how to pray out loud, so they forced me to pray for the whole car trip up there.
The church services took place in a hotel in San Francisco where I think most of the Bay Area ICC's met for the service. Let just say I cut a lot of the service, because I was having a hard time listening for so long. After about a month or two, I moved in with some sister (which was a big mistake). My life there was a living hell, they were not happy with what I did to find a job and that I would not tithe any money.
Now here I loose a lot of my memory, but I will pick up where I came back to the church. I came back from back east and they would not let me back in the church but Sharon said they would talk to someone and I was to meet her somewhere.
Well they would let me in but they would not give me a place to stay and this was the dead of winter in January. So a few days later I was walking in the park by Burlingame High School, when I saw one of the brothers and a few more of the brothers playing basketball in the park. I tried to avoid him seeing me, but no such luck. I heard my name and I turned, he called me over. He said he wanted to talk to me for a bit.
He then proceed to ask me if I had a place to stay, I said I was staying in a homeless shelter, but it was not safe. He asked if I wanted to stay at his place. I said yes, due mainly to the weather. He mentioned two important things to me: one was I was not to tell anyone that he was allowing me to stay there, and the second was that I was to help out with chores. He told me to meet him back here at 9pm.
He was allowing me to use his shower, eat with him and sleep in the back of the pickup (with camper shell) while he slept upstairs in a warm house. Well one time I got to stay inside when I was sick.
I one day came upstairs to eat dinner when he brought up that he was interested in me, I did not think much of it. I had been raped four times before and was not interested in any relationship. I said ok to his come on. Well that was a mistake, I came home from a hard day of trying to find a job. I was really tired and had taken something that made me tired. He came on to me by touching me and just eventually fondling me. I was afraid to say no, also I had no where else to stay if I refused his advances, well something happened and he stopped.
Well this happened again a few short weeks later, but this time I started to cry and went in to take a shower, suddenly he was there naked after telling me he would not hurt me. Well he forced me to wash his u know what. I was scared but I kept my cool. Later that day he again said he liked me and that I was giving him mixed signals, I finally told him I was not interested in him.
The worst day of my life was March 25, 1993. I came home my arm in a lot of pain. I could not do much. He asked me if I would like something to alleviate the pain. I was desperate so I said yes. Well within five minutes I was out. When I woke up, I was told I had slept sixteen hours.
After he had left for work, I had noticed some blood and a lot of pain. (I was hoping it was my period but it wasn't.) That's when I freaked out. I immediately thought I had been raped ,and I lost control over my emotions. A year before I had told my counselor that if I were raped again I would not guarantee what my reactions would be. To make a long story short here, I shot him when he came home that morning to get his medication.
I served seven months in jail and got three years probation, due to a lousy lawyer and the police misquoting me. During the whole ordeal, he [the rapist] had members of the church supporting him. No one supported me.
When I was finally released, I found out from my mom that the church sold all my belongings for who knows what. I never got anything or any money from them.
I still hold a lot of anger against them. At times I want to kill the leaders of the group.
The ICC came back in my life three weeks ago. [Members showed up at Kristine's amateur softball team's afternoon practice.] It really caused some problems for me. I then tried to kill myself on the 16 of February because of all the pain.
I have left things out I know and bear with me. As the memories come back, I will add them later.
Thank you for your time.
©1999 by Kristine Hughes <firstname.lastname@example.org>. All rights reserved.