One phrase I would immediately say: Use multiple strategies! (Sun Tzu: In important matters, one should use several stratagems applied simultaneously after another as in a chain of stratagems. Keep different plans operating in an overall scheme; however, in this manner if any one strategy fails, then the chain breaks and the whole scheme fails.) i.e., don't just rely on one strategy; have multiple strategies.
Strategy 1. Interventions or Exit Counseling
Interventions have been around for at least a few decades, largely used to convince alcoholics that they need help and that there is a problem. An intervention leader or counselor would gather interested and concerned people, usually including the spouse, family, friends, boss(es), coworkers, etc. who were able to articulate the negative effects of drinking and alcoholism. If the person were only to confront a single person, this would likely fail as it is viewed as "a difference of opinion." But when many people confront the person, convincing the alcoholic there is a problem is far more likely.
Interventions always have to ask for the permission of the person and continue to see if the intervenee wishes to continue. This is partly to differentiate interventions from "deprogramming," whereby a member is often detained against their wishes. Unfortunately, such coercion is both unbiblical and unlawful. In a famous case, in 1991, Rick Ross attempted the deprogramming of Jason Scott, a member of Life Tabernacle Church, part of the United Pentecostal Church International. In 1993, Scott became a plaintiff against Rick Ross and two of Ross' associates and the Cult Awareness Network (CAN), resulting in banrupting the Cult Awareness Network.
Interventions have to be well-planned and well-coordinated. They involve multiple team members who may play a part, helps in recovery or in giving information. There is a lot of coordination of the team as well as gathering reconnaissance.
Interventions are a method of exit counseling and hoping to give information and resources for a member to leave a particular abusive group. Christian exit counselors would like to see that the member maintain a rich Christian faith while leaving a particular negative group.
Interventions are usually not free of charge (even if led by a Christian minister, unless he has financial support from his church). Usually the exit counselor has specialized knowledge or training or this is his or her vocation. Usually some of the team members and/or exit counselor has to travel. In the 90's, 2000's and early 2010's, it is not unusual for an intervention to cost at least $3000-5000. (It's not unreasonable to pay $500 per day for the expert, plus travel and room, plus some amount for additional members.) I've reflected on this number and back when I was a member, a semester of tuition was $10,000. I wasted at least 2 semesters because of my involvement with the Boston Church of Christ -- like throwing away $20,000, so $5000 would seem like money well-spent if it had even saved me one wasted term! And of course, the money is even more considerable now given the higher cost of tuition or if the member is serious about getting married or going far away on a mission trip or throwing away one's future. I think of one man who lamented to me that his son, once on track to becoming a medical doctor (i.e., a noble and not a sinful vocation), was squandering his dad's tuition money while the son's grades had plummetted, and had effectively changed his dreams to becoming an evangelist for the International Churches of Christ. This young man had shown such great potential.
How are interventions conducted or how do you do interventions?
There is usually one (and rarely two) exit counselor(s) or intervention leader(s). This is preferably an expert, either a pastor, Christian or secular exit counselor who has knowledge of cults and mind control, and/or a former leader within the International Churches of Christ/International Christian Church.
There are often 2-3 additional members who have some of the following: the same gender, recent ex-members, are still practicing Christians, have started their recovery, are articulate about the ICOC/ICC and understand it fairly well, and have some of connection with person.
There are usually other concerned family members and friends present.
As mentioned before, the ICOC/ICC member must give permission to meet with the exit counselor(s). Family members and friends may give their concerns at this time and will take the approach of "let's all investigate the truth about the ICOC/ICC with these experts and former members." Usually in about 3-5 days, they review a number of materials including articles, videos, analyses -- especially materials that members are not allowed to read or watch -- and attempt to convince the member to leave the ICOC/ICC and to find a new, healthier, alternative church.
When is a good time to do interventions?
Usually interventions take some planning and some preparation work. In addition, the specialist/intervention leader may need to know a lot of information, including how the member became involved, what dynamics, including family and parental dynamics, no matter how innocuous, may have contributed to the person joining, and so on. There are many system dynamics that may need to be explored as well as personal history that could assist in filling in the picture.
If the member is leaving to become part of a mission team or is imminently having a life-changing event (marriage, engagement, dating), this may force the schedule to be hastened.
Strategy 2. Strategic Interaction Approach
Steve Hassan discusses this strategy at length in his book, "Releasing the Bonds." The downside of interventions are that they are stressful for everyone, extremely confrontational, and often very costly. They are not guaranteed to work 100% of the time. Interventions can fail or never occur for a variety of other reasons (e.g., the member is kept busy, the member refuses to meet with the intervention counselor, the member "shuts down" or checks out, non-ideal circumstances, discipler comes along, etc.).
So Hassan outlines a much less confrontational approach, one where friends and families can keep a "life-line" of communication to the affected member/loved one, and then help that person keep sanity by asking good questions. As Hassan puts it:
- "It's not up to you [the family member or friend] to rescue the person like there was in the deprogramming model, exit counseling model. You have to save the person. It's much more of an empowerment model. I say to my families, "You need to build rapport and trust. You need to gather information particularly information about how that person experiences the world and how that person is different from before they got into the group." Then you can go to doing techniques, planting seeds of doubt, asking powerful questions... One of the most important features of the strategic interaction approach - which I think is the heart of the strategic interaction approach - is my three-step phobia intervention. Phobias are very different than fears in that there is no logical basis, there is no real danger, there's a believed danger."
I've put together some questions in another article to explore some of these possibilities in terms of "what would make you leave?"
Reference: http://www.religioscope.info/article_48.shtmlThe Strategic Interaction Approach (SIA) is a longer- (or long-) term strategy to 1) maintain lines of communication with a current member, 2) hopefully to give "reality checks," and 3) to ask questions to the current member(s) to encourage critical thinking skills.
1) Maintaining lines of communication - obviously putting the relationship first
2) Giving reality checks - maintaining a "lifeline" to reality (cults often distort reality)
3) Asking questions - the rhetorical impetus of questions as opposed to statements requests that the person answer or thinking about how to answer the question.
For instance, in listening to some current members recently, I could make the statement: "I don't think the International Christian Church has changed all that much from what the International Churches of Christ was under Kip McKean's time."
However, current members would probably become defensive and/or use cognitive dissonance to defend themselves and ignore my comment. So I could phrase it into a question -- besides, it helps me find out information and it might help them think about the issue more critically:
"In what specific ways do you see the International Christian Church has changed, and what lessons were learned from past mistakes? What specifically is being done differently and why?"
Strategy 3. Form a support network
For both yourself and for the member, it is often very helpful to form a support network -- to keep yourself (and sometiems the member) sane. Your support network may be useful if you head towards an intervention or may even occasionally practice using the Strategic Interaction Approach. Your support network can consist of your friends, friends of the member, family members, even people that you think may be helpful like other Christians or pastors or former members of the ICOC/ICC.
Strategy 4. Educate yourself
Pace yourself and balance the rest of your life, but try to spend a little time every week to educate yourself about what you're up against. If your friend of family member who is currently involved leaves, you may find it helpful to pass on the information that you've gathered.
End Notes:
People who leave on their own accord or in rarer circumstances, are asked to leave, may still have residual issues or questions. Some people may no longer be on the membership roll but wish they were, or they are still making sense of what happened. Some people who have left may still benefit from post-leaving exit counseling, to help them start working through some of the issues after they left. Many people who have left may be at various points along the spectrum where some think they Resources: Hassan, Steven A. "Combatting Cult Mind Control." Hassan, Steven A. "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People To Think For Themselves" Hassan, Steven A. "Freedom of Mind."