The REVEAL Library: How to Tell if You're "Sharp"

Subject:      How to Tell if You're "Sharp"
From:         ovum@aol.com (Ovum)
Date:         1996/10/26
Message-Id:   <54tnu8$ifm@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
Newsgroups:   alt.religion.christian.boston-church
[More Headers]

As a public service to you Would-Be Sharp people out there, I present the "How to Tell if You're Sharp" rating system.

1. Your net worth is in the six-figure range.
1. Yes (2 points)
2. No (0 points)
3. "What's a net worth?" (-10 points)
2. Someone in your immediate family is named Buffy, Mindy, or Chaz.
1. Yes (1 point)
2. No (0 points)
3. You went to college with JFK Jr.'s new wife.
1. Yes (3 points)
2. No (0 points)
3. "He got married?!" (-5 points)
4. Your parents vacation at Martha's Vineyard.
1. Yes (3 points)
2. No (0 points)
3. They only go there to see John Belushi's grave (-3 points)
5. You are an accountant, stock broker, professional athlete, management consultant, capital hill staffer, systems analyst, or used car salesman.
1. Yes (5 points)
2. No (0 points)
6. You are a bowling alley attendant, waitress, janitor, rapper, monster truck derby promoter.
1. Yes (-5 points)
2. No, because you prefer not to engage in in the male-dominated, euro-centric, environmentally-unfriendly, Judeo-Christian-based, soul-less experience euphemistically known as "work". (-10 points)
7. In your spare time, you play tennis, visit your stables, or count your money.
1. Yes (5 points)
2. No, because you hire someone else to do it for you (10 points)
8. In your spare time, you re-watch Star Trek episodes you've videotaped, download .gifs of carved ducks, or perform an inverse ratio regression analysis of the lint in your navel.
1. Yes (-8 points)
2. No, because the voices in your head won't let you concentrate. (-20 points)
9. The TV personality you most come across like:
1. Katie Curic (5 points)
2. John Madden (5 points)
3. Susan Powter (5 points)
10. The TV character you most resemble:
1. Jedd Clampett (-3 points)
2. Homer Simpson (-5 points)
3. Wesley Crusher (-5 points)

SCORE:

• 20 - 25: You're so sharp, if you joined the ICC today you'd be in leadership by next week.
• 5 - 15: You're pretty sharp. You'd be in leadership in, say, a month.
• 0: There may be hope for you if you work at it really hard.
• -10 or less: Thanks for visiting.

:-D

©1996 by Ovum <ovum@aol.com>. All rights reserved.

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