Subject: Disciple Trek (was: As the Kingdom Turns) From: Tracy Kreckman <tkreckman@sympatico.ca> Date: 1996/07/24 Message-Id: <31F649CE.2F3A@sympatico.ca> Newsgroups: alt.religion.christian.boston-church [More Headers]
Great stuff! Do you write for Hollywood?
BTW, here’s an excerpt from a pilot of a Star Trek spinoff that was never aired because it was deemed too scary for the viewing audience; "Disciple Trek: The Next Generation".
Worf: Captain, I’m picking up a vessel on sensors on an intercept course at high warp speed.
Picard: Can you identify it Mr. Worf?
Worf: No sir. It is roughly cubic in shape, but many times the size of the Enterprise.
Data: The vessel is now within visual range.
Worf: We are receiving a communication -- we are being invited to a "Bible Talk".
Troi: Captain, I sense deception in their invitation. I’m also sensing something very strange; it seems that their thoughts are more collective than individual.
Riker: Sounds like a trick, captain.
Picard: Agreed, number one. Mr. Worf, extend our regrets and tell them -- perhaps another time.
Worf: Captain, the alien ship is firing!
Riker: Go to red alert! Raise the shield of faith!
Worf: Love bomb hits on the forward and starboard shields -- no damage. Captain, we are being hailed.
Picard: On screen.
Alien (in a mechanical monotone voice): This is Locutus McKean, Galactic sector leader of ICC. Your vessel has been scanned, and it has been determined that you are ordinary Christians. You are inferior. You will be assimilated, discipled and baptized. Resistance is futile.
Data: I have gained access to a communications node of their primary neural net.
Picard: Can you make anything out?
Data: Much is confused and garbled, but I am able to isolate a few often repeated sequences in the data stream such as "awesome" and "preach it bro’"!
Picard: Data, insert I John 2:26 and 27 into the net. It may initiate some sort of individualistic response.
Data: Accessing... Interesting; each time the verse is inserted, certain command nodes respond with other data, often containing the sequences of "pride" or "arrogance".
Troi: As that happens I’m sensing a lot of guilt coming from the rest of the collective.
Worf: The ship is firing again! It is a ray of some kind that has penetrated the shields, and has hit decks 14, 15 and 16 -- personnel on those decks are abandoning their posts and heading for holodeck 2.
LaForge: LaForge to Picard!
Picard: What is it Geordi?
LaForge: You’re not gonna believe this captain, but holodeck 2 has spontaneously initiated a program of a an olympic sized swimming pool, about a meter and a half deep!
Picard: Try to divert power from the holodeck and seal the doors! We’ll try to cut off the beam.
Will the entire Enterprise crew be baptized? Will they be assimilated into the ICC collective? Will Geordi have to lose the visor because he doesn’t look sharp while witnessing? Tune in for the next exciting episode of "Disciple Trek: The Next Generation"!
shhhh! Nobody tell Paramount, OK?
Tracy
©1996 by Tracy Kreckman <tkreckman@sympatico.ca>. All rights reserved.